If you’re anything like me, you think you say too much. You’re an ‘over-sharer’ (or at least, conscious of being one) I know not everyone is like this. It’s hard for me to like this part of myself because I am so critical of it. I don’t criticise this quality in other people. I am amused by other people’s mundanes. Yet, I find sometimes I say too much. I share unnecessary, irrelevant information and become conscious that perhaps I do it out of insecurity. Then, quite ironically, I feel insecure for being insecure.
Some people don’t talk too much about themselves or their interests, which makes them become too mysterious to understand. I guess you can examine the other end of the spectrum in terms of insecurity. Other people are listeners, and don’t feel at a distance for being quiet souls. Others, who are the people I might want to be like, are those that are an open-book, but you can’t read the language. They’re open, but you just haven’t asked the right questions yet. Fundamentally, however, I think it’s silly of me to want to change my nature so I won’t strive to – in this respect.
A reason I worry for being an ‘over-sharer’, is that I give the impression of being self-absorbed. I’ll be brave enough to admit that I probably am. The fact that I am thinking about other people perceiving me reassures that. ‘Am I really so unoccupied that I turn to examining myself?’ Is a thought that rings around my brain. And it’s not my voice speaking that because I’m quite sure everyone needs a level of self-awareness. Some of the greatest minds are inward-looking in nature. I think this quality is a blessing and a curse.
I don’t think I don’t listen to others. Rather, when I have the opportunity to speak, I say too much. It’s not even that it is about me all the time. It’s about random details in my life. It’s about the music I ramble on about, and Doctor Who, or any media that I am interested in. Is that normal? Should I be so self-conscious of what I say? Am I blind to the patterns of conversation in other people?
Around my friends, I feel comfortable doing this. Then when I am alone, I regret every word. It’s this guilt that every moment I spend with another person, I want to hear about them, and I don’t think they want to hear about me. I know this isn’t true. How do you confront those voices in your head? It’s something I don’t have the wisdom to know yet. Hopefully, I will acquire a carelessness that comes with age. Or perhaps I will rerun conversations in my head until I’m in the ground. Who knows?
What I hope to achieve my raising this conversation, is whether other people wonder the same thing. I know I will never have a novel thought, so I hope you have considered this too. Am I oversharing, or am I appropriately offering details of my life to people who care about me?
Wow, I’m impressed that I managed to get that off my chest.
Hope you’re having a good day!
The Ecolytical 
This is definitely not abnormal to feel! I have definitely felt this way before , and at other times I’ve felt as though I wished to have the esteem to share more. I’d too consider myself very introspective, which could be coined as self-involved, but that’s certainly not a bad thing! Having a good understanding of yourself first and foremost is how you develop the empathy to understand others! And I assure you Catherine, you have a LOT of empathy. When at times I’ve found that my social skills aren’t up to speed with my introspective skills, I’ve discovered that asking other people questions about their lives to be really important in finding that balance between introversion and extroversion. And I love hearing other people talk about themselves!
It’s a great thing to reflect on yourself and attempt to better yourself, but please don’t be too hard on yourself! It’s so important to make personal changes out of love, rather than insecurity. Thank you for sharing this Catherine! Love you lots : )
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I felt it was worth sharing so that I can be reassured I’m not alone in thinking so! You should know that I will always be a listening ear to anything you feel compelled to talk about. Sometimes it’s the most random things you enjoy sharing with other people.
Thank you for leaving such a thoughtful comment Ruben :)) You’re very wise, and I like that sentiment at the end about making changes out of love. Hope you’ve had a nice day!!!!!!! x
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I tend to be an oversharer too and I always worry that people will think I’m self-absorbed as well. But to be honest I always love when someone is open and shares everything with me. It keeps the conversation going and you end up feeling good that they trusted you with personal info. But that’s just me so I worry some people will hate it. I’m an introvert so sometimes I think my oversharing comes from a lack of proper social skills or from my anxiety in social situations.
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I am comforted in the fact you struggle with the same contradiction/paradox. Yes, I too enjoy when other people share lots of things with me, but then feel insecure when I do the same? It’s odd, isn’t it, but I’m glad we are similar in this!
Perhaps so, I’ve never considered that my introversion could relate to a lack of social skills! Thank you for reading Pooja! I always appreciate your comments.
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I think we’re always a little harder on ourselves than on others which is why we feel insecure about it. I always felt like my introversion was the reason I overshare. To cover up for the awkward silences and lack of social skills lol.
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