(If you love blogging in any way, please read… I promise it is worth your time)

Hi blogging friends,

On Saturday 23rd March 2022, my blog officially becomes 5 years old. It seems pointless to celebrate the ageing of this online community that has been curated, loved, enjoyed and lived in but then lost. For those of us that perceive blogging as a harmless and enjoyable past time, we relate to the dread of life interfering in what we really love to do: write. In the blogging community there are two distinguished alleys: professionals and writers-who-set-up-a-blog-on-a-whim-to-share-their-musings-and-perspectives-and-art-casually. I veer towards the latter. I merely want to talk to like-minded people in an atmosphere of thorough dedication to what words are expressed. Social media dominates these days. Misinformation spreads like wildfire, negativity spreads like wildfire, niches can be too-long lived in that the residents are afraid to branch outside. And it is slightly terrifying. Social media is not thoughtless, perhaps it is the complete opposite, too many thoughts at once. But escaping from that angry pandemonium into a still pixelated yet slightly calmer WordPress app, is needed.

I love blogging because comments take time to write, they are not mindless clicks. Articles take time to read, which is wonderful. We all wish we could spend more time dwelling on the websites of our mutual readers, but sometimes life hesitates to allow us. So where have I been for the last year or so, posting occasionally yet not truly returning? What has the face behind the blog occupied themselves with?

Without going into great detail,

• GCSEs
• Ongoing anxieties about ‘what next?’
• Self discovery
• Losing routine, losing myself in the lack of structure to my days. It fell away as the academic year began and I worry I’ll never discipline myself enough to get it back.
• DofE!
• Becoming very emerged in Doctor Who Twitter
• Doctor Who generally
• Fundraising
• Dedications in GirlGuiding
• Hyperfixations dominating my life as they come and go. I think this is my way of coping.
• I also went to some really good concerts at the end of last year

I have come to understand that my worst enemy is myself, comparing myself not to others (although occasionally) but to my old self. My more motivated younger self. The younger me who was always on top of things, sustained many hobbies and clubs, was easily perfect at school, who woke up at 6am to do yoga every single day… past me. The one this blog was started by. We’re always changing. And I know she is in here somewhere, but she adapted to change. Loss, grief, heartbreak and bloody lockdown changed everything. This is not a cry for help, this is me helping myself.

My blog is my lifeline. My online diary. My comfort. And I don’t want its half a decade old celebration to go under the radar. I truly love it here and I wish to return in some capacity.

I shall not post to a schedule, or a niche. Success by statistics, I have established, is just a reflection of what is really worthwhile: the connections I make with people. Many of you reading this will also wish there was no expectation for regularity. We all want to enjoy ourselves writing. What I intend to do is write as I please, and post accordingly. I encourage you to do the same, if you cannot sustain a ‘normal’ blog. 

When I started out, in 2017, I said I wanted to curate a space for relatability. I wanted to understand people from all over the world, and how different we can be, and how similar we can be too. Today, that still stands. I would like to express my life in public diary entries. We can laugh at each others mistakes, and mishaps, and reflect on this strange thing we never asked to be thrust into: life. I have many things to share and to update you on. Perhaps my blog name, for a start, is less appropriate for how this online space may proceed. Yet fundamentally, what I really want to do is help people to understand climate change. I think I can integrate that too. 

So many things to write, such a lot of time. I surely hope this venture will continue for 5 years beyond, and 5 years beyond that, and so many more lots of 5 years.

Thank you for always being here. When I come and go, I always have a home to return to. I love you ever so much.

Catherine

she/they 

P.S I still write full blog posts in my head as I brush my teeth every day. Still frustrating that we don’t have a translator for that, because the thoughts get lost!